It has been four years!!!

Valentine's Day is special at our family for the past four years. And this is not related to the 'pink chaddi' movement (no doubts on that - I vociferously stand up for my right to be Indian, not Hindu AND on my own.....I have been grown up and taking care of myself for more years that I care to admit and don't need the freaks telling me about 'Indian culture'). I digress.

Our son Mr. S is 4 years and 7 months old. He came home to us on Valentine's Day, 2005.....it has been four glorious years. Overall notwithstanding some individual days in the terrible twos, tormenting threes and fearsome fours! He is a charmer with a super smile and the much mentioned dimples. Smart and athletic....his birth parents must be pretty special, if this kid is anything to go by. He is generous beyond belief - yes, he will give you the chocolate out of his mouth. And I can't imagine how we managed without him in our lives. I hope he grows up one day to say the same about us.

I think about his birth parents and send a few prayers their way every year, this time and on his birthday. And often during the year when he does something amazing. They were good enough to ensure that this kid got a family that loved him. And our much maligned system actually followed through and implemented their wishes.

Cannot begin to imagine the emotions that they might be going through....would not want to romanticize this too much either. Who knows what their circumstances and personalities are like. This kid is a little beacon of hope, though. A true survivor - more than that, a Thriver. He can figure it out, adapt and truly blossom. All kids must be like that. To me, my brats are special.

His sister (elder by some heartburning 15 months - his heartburn!) is another beacon in her sweetness. She is a kid - she fights with him for a toy and after some time, can't deal with having it when he is so unhappy for not having it. Mind you, that toy was lying around with no one interested just 10 minutes ago.

I have gotten around to believing that the Universe entrusts us with the kids. That they are of our genetic make up (or not) is just incidental. They are not ours to control and command. If we work really hard to build that relationship and are lucky, we hope that they come back to us at all ages. And if he and/or our daughter choose to adopt, I will know that they had a good time with us and that they validate our choices. The validation is not important....the joy of their experience in a family is paramount.